question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
