It's Friday. Sex?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
