we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
