Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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