I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You ruined the universe
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
