just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
