it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize