Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
