we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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