I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
