I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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