I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
