Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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