1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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