i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
