That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Someone signed my nipple.
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