STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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