just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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