My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
only you would photoshop your dick
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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