real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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