Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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