If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
