Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
