someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
