were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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