remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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