she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
