i permit you to call me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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