Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
operation have a gay friend backfired
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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