Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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