if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
