Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
