Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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