By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
