yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
