Jerry, you need to find god
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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