I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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