I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
