it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
