His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize