i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
