I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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