So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
