Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
