Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
