she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
