Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
