She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
