For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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