Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
