AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
