please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
