You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
